Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
