The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
