I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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