Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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