I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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