At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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