So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
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