batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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