just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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