sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
