I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
