coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
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