I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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