Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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