I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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