We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Just high enough for therapy.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
