Can i not drive my cunt home
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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