True but thats because hes a fetus.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
