Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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