my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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