I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
