I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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