I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
