Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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