do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
