I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
