Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize