How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
