My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
