Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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