New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
