Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
