Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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