dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
