Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
