The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
