Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
