I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
