Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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