My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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