Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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