We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
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