I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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