Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
