im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize