..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
