video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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