Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
