You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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