My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
