I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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