Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
