weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
