Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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