Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
