He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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