That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
