I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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