Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
