I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
