you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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