it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
sex in a hospital.. check
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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