she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
