I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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